Deflated

I have not taken my usual cup of iced coffee yet my insides are palpitating as if I already finished two cups. Although yesterday’s intake could still be in effect but whatever.

My energy went from high to very low that I feel my nerves are gonna explode. The hype and excitement are now gone I might just spend the rest of the weekend on my bed. For context, we were in the middle of a discussion, taking into consideration a lot of factors that were amazingly and unbelievably ticked it’s really scary. But that’s the thing, every step forward will always be a risk and nothing will ever be concrete until we do something to actually find out.

I honestly feel so deflated.

And all the other similar discussions we had in the past came flashing into my memory it makes me feel like we missed out on a lot of opportunities because we were short on bravery. I don’t know why but it feels as if the accountability is on me twice because I didn’t push harder. And now that time is making me feel like an underdog, I don’t think I can still get away with just letting this fly out of my lap so yeah —

I shouldn’t.

Not anymore.

It’s time to stop being losers.